The Port

Gravestones piled on an openshore,
a basin for pelicans bathed in crude.
oil- soaked feathers expand ardent wings,
dried by the solemnity of aghast winds.

Thrilled as they watch eyes torched
from droplets of entrails ripped from the sky's womb.
robbed like a snatch in one uneventful afternoon,
where complications lacerate on a bummed knee:

Death is therefore reprieved.
body shivers tactless heat of midday assault.

Tendencies of gilded beaks to scratch skin is on high,
like sun over manured pastures
and warm yellow streams:

Thick to congest the lungs of traffic.
punctures inhabited sponge of cavity.

Breath gas as dry as thin ice.
anatomies unveil on the nasal throat.

As ghosts sway in stop-motion pace
over cracks on trampled maps,
Bouncing off the globe.

Pelicans delivered yet another abortion.

Music of the 35187th Century

Gitarang kalansay,
bali-baling buto

putol na kwerdas ang paglunok:

instrumentong gamit ay gibak ng pagkalas.

Lagablab ng anino sa kakahuyan ng sementeryo,
sinusunog ang apoy sa mata ng bawat guho.
abong kumakapit sa pundasyon ng haligi,
kinakain ang tibay at tatag ng pagbabasakali.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhkkkk!

Binalatang brasong pambambo
tinatambol yerong bakal ng mga nitso,
kinakalampag mga agiw
sa naasidong lalamunan.
Pinipitik ang natirang pag-aalinlangan.

huhummmmm! huhummmmm!

Hahambalos ang manunggal
at babaon ang bawat latay,
ibabangon ka muli sa pagkakahukay.

huhummmmm! huhummmmm!

At papasok ang kaalaman
sa mga pilipit na ugat sa anit,
hihingahan ng buhay ang
bumbunang luwag sa pagkabit:

at doon ay magkakamot ng isang tanong,

"aaaaaaaaakkhhaaakkkakk haaakkkk kaaahhkahhhkieeewwwwsss..?"

Sumayaw sa huni ng ibong pakakak,
sa hagong ng budyong bungo,
sa saliw ng panibagong katapusan.

Musika ng mga walang pinagmulan.

Abortionist, We Are!

These days are bulimic:

A thin spectrum stretch across the sky,
pale pipe dreams in mere appearance.

Whenever sky vomits rain,
Sobs of widows grinning on a funeral is heard,
Spits manner in the face of an intoxicated past.
Falls like melted plastic peeling through skin.

It carries miscarriage

and provokes faith to be destiny's little whore.

If it hiss of burden, chastise it with work.
shady plots? introduce angles and curves;
abrupt endings have sequels in waiting,
Mild beginnings never begins until the prequel:
Blackstars are mildew cows held on zero oxygen.

As delicate heads wait for the razor,
Sharpen the wit well enough to cut through the necklines.
Rolling headless brains of Chemistry Lab Rat Riders, are
Matched with genuine profane declarations:

Of how bold the skies are bludgeoned with a crooked knife;
how love shines like a switchblade on deep cellars of the heart;
how roots tangle like a vein on the crucifix turned down upside;

They all rise to reach the towers fast
where anarchistic blues was born,
On an Angels harp played by Belzeebub:
A one-note song attune to the nature of disaster.
To the glory of the battle the weak has grown out
to survive--

For the horizons has stretchmarks,
A crucial birth for the womb is in waiting.

On Guard

Taking a backseat on
the left side of my brain.

Legs crossed, resting on top
of a young maiden on fours.

Plainly enjoying the view
of hostages held at gunpoint

that my mind has altered.

Completely resigned to values,
just facing the odds set by wheelers and jesus-makers.

A pull of the trigger then all this would end;

No more begging and pleading,
Curses spitting ugly on mouths,
and all nonsense talk of wanting to make a bargain.

Though I aim for handshakes and pleasantries,
A smile still means everything

Like seeing a clitoris with horizontal slits.

So let them beg while I shine my toy,
unload bullets in the dock.

My body is guilt-riddled
that wearing a vest is a must.

ICU

Gravity has no affection,
Privileged as it may seem,
We've long been weighed by it
Like African mothers with sagging tits.
To drag around tardy feet with shipwrecks
tied on the lower waist is nothing but a drag;
and we have all day.

But there we have Atmosphere to thank.
For hospital wards are busy with patients death,
Stillness awaits the heart on waiting rooms.
Crawling on spaces left, breathing among corpses.
The slightest of hope offered by Fifty- fifty.
Always in itself a mystery:
Just like falling for the obvious.

Azucarera de Taste Station

Kalatumba ang mga baso gapatong sa monoblock
paglabay sang mga gatirin-tirin nga trak --
Wala na lamesa kay gutok na sang lugar ilimnan
Gani didto kami ginpuwesto lapit nayon sa dalan.

Ginpapungko si Duay, Empoy kag Manilyn,
Samtang kami daw mga badjao nga gakatin- katin
sa Tadyaw nga masalod sang kahubugon:
Ari kami indi para maligo, Ari kami para masalom.

Alas-onse gakari ang mga halin Sentral Ma-ao
Pakadto pakari asta alas-tres sang kaagahon,
Amo man sige pulaw sang mga lapyo mata:
Gapamati sa ambahanon sang dalagko nga rida,
Gakasilaw sa suga nga ginbutang sa naha-una kag
Gakabungol sa pirte katunog na busina.

Rakenrol ni bords, Rakenrol ni!
Rakenrol ni subong...

Alas kuwatro tawhay na ang dalanon,
Ginagaling na ang panam-is sa mapait nga realidad sa likod sang yuhom,
Maisip na lang manggad ang mga dlagko tae
pagbugtaw karon alas-sais.

Bag-o pa lang kami kapungko pagpuli sang mga Koreano.
Sang nagtahaw ang ilimnon,
Nadumduman namon mga nagkala-usik kagina:

Mayo lang kay baso lang natumba,
Matapos ang Agosto gani kita na.

-- konting tula para sa mga mananabas ng Neg. Occ.,

DogTown

I believe that this ghost town has something more
Other than memories of a passing stray dog New Year.

It has modern skeletons soaked in the sweetest of shame to offer.
Enough to make hairy tounges drool a pool of warm, slimy, fishy saliva.

No need to dig for such a froth party,
Menu is served and there's plenty to choose from:

Bone necklaces choking mangled necks,
Glowing empty ribcages that stores caged heat,
Minted skulls with gaping stare bullet holes,
Spine barbecue dipped in menstrual sauce
and Powdered joints with creamed marrow bits--

All for the dogs that resides in us,
To play on and make us feel like gods.

To abuse like kitchen rags
and chew like a bit-ridden rubber ball.

While the sound of gritting teeth is like bolts of lightning
caught in a jar:
The sky around here remains cloudy and calm.

So wiggle your fancy tail as we approach through the glass
Notice how eyes glow like orbs of green shimmering lights

We're offered aplenty to refuse an insult
So don't back up.
Cram the space like tons of payload trucks;

and rest assured we'll be grinning from ear to ear up in dog heaven.

Time Consumer

Any moment could come in time
but not all is proper.

Not all time has minutes
for moments that only took seconds.

What is proper now was useless then
way before presumed thoughts came unassuming.

What else did you presume?

Inhale back exhaled smoke,
Hold it upon the lungs until it weighs the chest.
That burden lightens up when you let go and desperately grasp for air.

Equilibrium shatters and nerves turn violet blue.
Pupils flicker like unsettling desert sun.
All in a span of a second.

That is the beauty,
The delight in breathing in:

When blink itself faces death in a wink of an eye

In the uncertainty of one moment.

PAKYUNISTA, INC.

Baka di ninyo alam, marunog din kaming mga Taga-Bacolod (Bacolodnon) maglasing. Our Public Plaza is the largest Beer Garden based on The Guiness Book of World Records(bah?! Totoo?). Nangyayari ito tuwing MAsskara Festival pag October. Sabay sa OktoberFest... Kaya halos lahat ng mga tao Laseng.. Ibig sabihin pogi lahat ng mga Bacolodnon tuwing Oktubre. Si James lang ang panget... Lahat ng ito ay nangyari dito samen, sa City Of Smiles, habang nag-iinuman, mag-iinuman o pagkatapos ng inuman...

Heto kami. Heto ako. Labas oten sa sobrang kasiyahan. Hindi ko talaga maipagmamalaki ito kaya tinabunan ko na lamang.

Masarap matulog sa Chowking. Dito rin kami halos nagpapalipas ng umaga habang naghihintay sa trabaho mga alas nuwabe. Kumakain ng sopas o Halo-halo para matanggal si HangOver. Ayos dito, halos walang probema basta ima-map lang ang suka sa sahig. Andyan naman ang shotgun ni mamang sikyu para magpa-remind samen kung sakaling makalimot.

Malambot ang mga daan dito sa Bacolod. Pwede kang maghimlay kung saan- saan lamang at sigurado pababayaan ka hanggang sa mag-umaga at tumuyo na ang ihi sa iyong pantalon o shorts. Walang pipigil sa iyo basta gumising ka lang.

Heto si James na natutulog sa kanyang kwarto sa Hua Ming Street. Mahimbing na mahimbing na parang natutulog lang talaga siya... We always pray for him.

Grabe ang pag-aarugang ipinakita ni Totoy Mola sa kanyang bagong kaibigang si Raffy. Kitang- kita naman ang kagalakan ni Raffy dito. Puno ng katuwaan and all smiles talaga siya habang nakapulupot sa kanyang mga balikat ang matitigas na muscles ni Totoy M.,.. Naging matalik sila ng gabing ito... Sila ay naging matalik.

Heto ang example sa pagsuway nang Ten Commandments sa pag-inum. Yung bawal matulog at tikman ang katabi. Sana ay mapatawad si Raffy.

Lahat po ito ay nangyari sa isang linggo lamang. Basta may 100 ayus na. 35 ang beer, two bots = 70PH, 30PH pauwi. Kalkulado na lahat- lahat. Maiban na ang kung me sumuka. May 15P charge na dagdag yun dito sa KGB.

Kahit tindahan ng goma ay pwede gawing inuman basta kami... Basta libre...

Baka kelangan nyo ng mapa... Makakatulong po ito para di kayo maligaw at mapadpad kung saan- saan. Tulad ni Boojie na natagpuan na lamang ang kanyang sarili sa mga kamay ni Ronald.

Huwag kayong mabigla o ano. Baka kase pagkamalan nyong abnormal eto. Yan po si Carlo, My severe case ng Elephantheasis. Kung sa iba eh sa bayag tumutubo, sya naman po ay sa ulo nakagat ng lamok na may dalang virus ng Elephantheasis. At doon namaga. Napaisip tuloy na baka napagkamalan siya ng lamok na.... Di ko na lag sasabihin. Bayag.

Katulad ni Richard at Raymond. Heto po yung Identical twin ni Carlo, Si Carla at ang kanyang papa na mahilig sa cherry flavored lipstick. Avon Lady kase si Carla.

Ang beer dito ay galing sa satchet... Powdered Beer na naimbento ni Ronald at tinitimpla namen para inumin at minsan ay ginagawang ice candy. Ito rin ang dahilan kung baket linalabas ni Alvin puwet nya tuwing nag-iinuman. Pinapakamot nya kay James. Makati kasi ang Powdered Beer.

Sa Frozen Era lahat to nangyari. Frozen Era is a perfect place for Foreigners to be... The owners are so polite and hospitable that they even bother and insist to sleep with you tonight.

So ngayon alam nyo na... So wataryodowing... kamon here sa Bacolod and go waiste yourselves around here... Come and loose your virginity to us... It will be a fun and engaging experience!

Salamat ke Rolly at Ronald sa mga piktyur:http://profiles.friendster.com/frozenera

Lakawon Beach Island Resort Special...

Just some little Company thing.... Beach and stuff... Booze of course...


Look at me meddling with the girls. It's quite obvious that I'm up to no good but they somehow have no idea about it or why I am even with them. Lakawon is here in Negros, about an hour and a half drive South and then you have to ride a bangka to get there for 20 minutes. The wait for the bangka takes an hour....

This is not what you think it is... This isn't about guys raping a child or something like that. And This Isn't a child either, this is a man who wants his pajamas off. He wants us to do him a favor. He wants us to take his pajamas off for him and so we did just what we're exactly told. You can see that there's no struggle there whatsoever and by the look of things, the parties involved are enjoying themselves.

Check this one out first. See how gay I am in this picture... A smiling drooling idiot that is causing discomfort and pain to almost anyone. Thank goodness for I am Handsome enough to get away with it just like what I happened in this picture.

Back to this,... Raffy is bringing sexy back... Look! As the night goes on so is the search for the missing pajama. Little did Raffy knew that his pajama was taken by the sea back to Bacolod.
Nice Sweet little thighs... Slender legs that can make a child molesters dream come true.

Manson

Nakakalula ang hagdan patungo sa araw
kung saan doon ka lamang masisilayan.

Maghahabi ng misteryo
gamit ang mala-karayom mong isipan,
dilang sinulid at palad na hahawak sa balaraw.

Guguhit ang hapdi at maglalapnos
ang balat bilang kabayaran,
Ngunit makukuha naman ang inaasam- asam.

Titingkad ang kulay na ipinipilit
At sa pagsapit ng dilim ito rin ang
magsisilbing ilaw na parang bituin.

Lutang ang kinang.

Titingala ang mga batong nakataob sa hardin,
ang mga munting isda sa dagat,
at mga nilalang ng kasalukuyan
sa taglay na kislap.
Liliwanag ang buong lupa.

Hihinto ang oras sa pagbantay ng
bawat hakbang at makakaligtaan ang
patuloy na pag-agos ng buhay.

Sa kakitiran ng utak ay lalapad ang daan
patungo kung saan nakalatag ang mga pangarap.

Mapaso man ay magkakaroon ng lunas ang
bawat sugat at doon ihahanay ka
sa mga bayani, santo,
martir at rebolusyunaro.

Lahat Patay.

Dapit Hapon

Pinili ang oras na patay si kristo
At doon iniwan ang gulay malanta sa harap ng TV.
Ni-lock ang pinto ng banyo, sinindihan ang yosi.
Mahinang pinaandar ang gripo at umupo sa trono,
Maliit na bintana'y sinarado upang usok ay di kumawala.
Sabay tulo ng mala-jolens na pawis sa kunot ng noo
Na kunot na simula pa lang.

Naalala ang blade na itinago sa posporo,
Nung kailang maisipan na maglaslas pulso,
Doon din dumating ang gelpren na may dalang
Sorpresa, akusasyong nahaluan ng malisya,
Libre kape't pandesal sana ang mga tambay.
May kita pa sa tong- its at dadalaw sa wakas si Nanay.
Parang pulis kung minsan itong babae,
Kokotongan pa akong namumulubi.
Di tuloy alam kung ano ang mabaho,
yung tae sa inodoro o yung nanggaling
sa kanyang bunganga.
Si Katrina Halili sa pader tuloy ang napag- initan.
Ginutay- gutay ng bleyd hanggang sa maglumanay,
Linulunod ng pilit ang boses sa ulong lito.
Hayun at umalis nga nang walang paalam.
Kinabig pa ang wheelchair ng lumpong binging bastardo
Nang madaanan.

Naalala rin ang isang lapad ng dark na isinuksok sa baldeng
Ginawang tapunan ng tisyu't papel,
Kahit nabuksan na ay gumuguhit pa rin sa lalamunan
At may konting kagat pa naman.
Gumagabi na ayon sa butas sa bubong,
Rinig na ang huni ng toko at mga nagba-basketbol,
Lumalapot na ang usok na lason,
Mata'y nanlalabo, sa pait ay nanlulumo.
Ulap na sa kapal ang namuong aso.
Kinakapa na nga ang paligid baka mahanap si San Pedro.
Di pa rin napagpasyahan kung alin ang gugulutin,
Bayag ko ba? Titi? O pulso?
Kagabi ay may naisulat na suicide note,
Para sa mga nagmamahal.
Linagay sa ilalim ng paboritong unan.
Nahihiya pa ring ilantad sa mundo ang nararamdaman
Kahit ngayon.

Pero ngayong oras na upang kumawala sa kalasingan.
Nginuya ang blade na hawak malapit sa leeg sabay laklak ng alak.
Maglalaho rin lang naman, para pang wala.
At ang isinulat, sino pa ba ang magbabasa?
Wala, kundi ako rin. Ako pa rin.

Red Lips, Fingertips

The coverband was playing some Motley Crue,

"Girls, Girls, Girls...".

The drummer trying his best to imitate Tommy Lee never came close. Trying to toss his sticks up in the air was ended in him totally missing a beat as kids turn restless at the moment, finding it hard to figure out what the hell they were hearing. I can sense that they're not feeling good on "Dr. Feelgood" too.

"What the fuck, Man... Come on!" Says one kid wearing black eyeshadow and real tight fitting pants. I was wondering where or how does he hide his pair of balls on those, or if he's got a pair because I got a good look at his crotch and It's like there's really nothing in there.

The Cramps singer then comes to mind, how he's able to stick the microphone after it received a fellatio, up his ass and unto his tight leather jeans still bugs me. It's one of those many Rock N' Roll mysteries, right next to Spinal Taps disappearing drummers and the death of Elvis(there's this report of MIB's in Japan looking for the King on Elvis Conventions in Tokyo), that I found so hard to believe. You just have to see it happen.

I started thinking that what the kid doesn't know was Tommy Lee looks more fay and gay than he is or compared to those he's listening to nowadays. Tommy Lee totally rock the boat with Pamela on it harder, and I mean harder like he's really giving it to her.

"You suck just like the bands you like!" Iggy Pop once yelled at one concert goer, turning the supposedly chaotic atmosphere into church- like. I read about it and how I wish the cover band could holler back just like that. But then, who are they to make such statement? The guitarist can't even shred right or post right. He's got an awkward stance and that's a sin. Once you do a Crue song, give it respect. Especially "Girls, Girls,Girls" which is about getting laid. But for now, they just have to deal with it. So I deal with it.

It was around 1:00 AM. Halfway through the nights bill and there's a few more bands left before I see what I came to see. The ticket says it's gonna start at 10PM. It's already 1:18 AM but they're only halfway. Thank God I downed a couple of RedBulls before going out but then I ended up drinking three bottles more than usual. I felt my system messed up. Two red bulls are running with six red horses and I can hear them gallop inside my head. It's like Marlboro Country in there. I feel like I'm in Texas for no reason.

The place is pretty rad. It's bound to make you sweat, It's dim- lighted, has a small bar but with nobody sitting on it. It's like a madhouse with booze and cigarette smoke filling up the air. If There were any girls, you could easily mistaken them as high class hookers of which they are not. But I don't know, maybe some disguised themselves but that's one thing I'm going to find out. I cant help but noticed too this seemingly large fella beside the stage, he's got like a six packs of budlight, with only one left, bobbing his head, secretly enjoying the bands lousy renditions. He have this Faded Dragon tattoo on his left shoulder that's peeking out of his old Ratt T-shirt and he's sporting a real cool mullet, probably the most dangerous mullet I've ever seen at this side of town. It's not actually a mullet, it's more like a combination of Rat's Tail and a mullet and he has a beard too. He's like a cool version of Kenny Rogers. He knows every word and mumbles some of them on "Home Sweet Home".

He's just plainly making a night out of a supposedly short gig. Bobbing his head that made them mullet more cooler, fingers tapping on an empty beer bottle and for a while he looked at my direction. So I look away, maybe in his mind he's like "What's your problem, Pussy?!" and I'm afraid that he thought of me as gay or lame or something. So afraid too of this thought that he'd be giving me a wink then we would end up in his trailer. Me, tied unto his bed. Like a German Dungeon Scene. With all those straps and leathers. Metal is Leather and it's okay to be gay in Metal. At least if you're Rob Halford. But all in all it's still totally unacceptable. Metal up your beautiful leather Ass is still something unimaginable to say. If there's gay in Metal,the ratio would be like 1:100, or one in a million. Like some Brokeback Cowboy stuff and there would be no Metal Band singing or writing about it. There will be no Dave Mustaine tribute song for gaymetallers just like what Willie Nelson did.

When the time I took a glance he wasn't around anymore. Maybe he called it a night, hopped on to his Bronco and went home to polish his 12 Gauge Shotgun before going to sleep bloated and unkempt.That made me think about my own getting old stage too. About what would I be and will I still be able to continue rocking it out in the free world... Will I end up like that dude who stole extra time just to check out what's happening around the scene and then went back to the woodwork as fast as possible? There's just so many things that it made me afraid to think about it more. That's why I always avoid to criticize things I don't like in public because you'll never know when you get old you might end up actually doing it.

It was around that time when at last, SATHANUS came on stage. The band everybody's been buzzing about on the radio and around the scene finally arrived to put some sense out of this crappy night. It's time to find out how evil Sathanus is. As usual the stage went dim and the lights turn red with usual smoke effect to gave it a hellish atmosphere. They're Sathanus so it's just appropriate for them. By the time they're about to belt out the first song, I already have those devil horns up in the air. So hyper am I that I shouted together with more or less 30 people cramped in the front row those words I dont usually just said "Rock N' Roll!!!".

But what the fuck. Sathanus mellowed out. When the lights was turned on,I noticed that there's not a single leather found on any of the band members garment. Instead, they're all wearing khaki pants and slacks. The bassist has his long hair tied and the vocalist was smiling like he just came out of the delivery room and found out he was having a baby boy for the first time. Totally ridiculous,... But before anybody could throw tomatoes and beer bottles at them, they immediately proceed to some, shall I say, Gorgeous Rocking. The people was left in wonderment, jaws dropped and shoulders resting. They could not believe they were hearing Jazz. I found out that those noisy kids was gone too and so is those 30 plus people that was caught by surprised. When I tried to look around more, There I saw this bunch of Dockers-clad individuals and A&F Moms trying to make way and I'm in between them. It's like they were there hiding all the along, waiting and I'm not even aware of them. Maybe the kids saw what was supposed to happen that's why they left early, same with that dude.

Instead of hanging around I chose to ride home and catch a few hours of sleep. But I bet I wont have it, In my mind there's this thought of me all mellowed out but not in a way like how Sathanus showed it to me that night. I will surely submit but I'm gonna fight it. That's how Metal works and surely, maybe Sathanus is not a good fit and maybe it's time to take a listen and gamble at this Angel Band with golden hair and eagle wings because just like what everybody has been buzzing about, I heard they rock out more. But I don't know because as far as I'm concern it's still a gamble, well, everything is... And I will go on even on some nights just like these one. For how log? Well, I don't know. That's one thing I'm still going to find out.

-NoUseForAName

Ulirat

At nalasing ang alak sa kakatitig ng matang lumalabo.
Nahuhubad kanyang taglay na espiritu
habang tinutunaw ang yelo sa baso.
Basong namamawis, tumutulo,
Binababad sa basa ang manggas nitong puting polo,
Tuluyang dumaloy sa sapatos na nakaapak sa sahig.
Maginaw na semento nagsisilbing ulap sa lupa.
Giniginaw rin ang pitser,
Sigarilyong naupos sa abuhan
na may Posporong palutang- lutang.
Lahat ay nakaabang sa pag-alsa nang kamay.
Isang tagay na lulunod sa kamunduhan.
Lalaban sa agos,
Lalanguyin hanggang maabot ang dalampasigan.
Ngunit nalasing ang mga minuto,
Oras ay hindi maibuo.
Basa na ang bar,
Tubig na ang alak,
Pagod na rin ang bangko.
At nang biglang matauhan,
Nagsara na muli ang laman nitong isipan.

Grooming

Her arms are dried twigs you could easily snap,
Coil black and hollow, badly burnt by the sun.
Her body housed termites,
Eating up foundations and walls.
She has no roots whatsoever planted beneath her feet.
Still grows everywhere like piss mushroom or
Stray grass on a cornfield.
If her body was the earth,
Her hair, the blades of grass,
You gather them all by the palm of your hands.
Then pull it out of the ground.
Severed, head unattached.
Out curdling pretzel spine,
Blood and innards spewing out,
But it's just nurturing soil.
Pluck her out up to the deepest root
So it wont ever grow again.
Carted off and wheeled away.
Segregate towards decay.
Finding resolve on girly bars and seedy joints,
Spreading seeds and drinking lead.
A man who tends his garden very well.

--NoUseForAName

This one has a lot of interpretations and I think I like it that way... There's a certain mystery into it.

Poesy...

Morning Comes...

morning comes, alarms set at five
get up slow but still shutting my eyes
smell the scent of whiskey and romance
and you in the bed, is such a pretty sight

crumpled sheets are tainted, somewhat clean
i remember how i swim underneath the covers
with only cigarette breaks in between
talking got us going on again with one another

and how am i supposed to rest?
I hear your heart beating upon my chest
and that look in your eyes they simply suggest
we're still be a handful until we fall back to sleep

so let's hope for these walls to keep us safe
to hide our secrets while we uncover ourselves
and that in every inch of desire that we've fulfilled
would be enough to set away every ounce of guilt we feel

'cause it never goes easy
love is lost when morning comes
when reality sinks in
we're gonna be rushing back into our lives

now here we are, I'm blowing smoke by the window on a chair
watching you get back to your dress and brush your hair
you've always been such a lady, I've always been impressed
i held you closely on nights when you're mine
but they must belong somewhere, i held you tightly as i could
like you are mine, but you're not at all.

To Linz...

breaking this li'l boys' heart is the worst you could've done
much more knowing you left him for some filthy old rich man
final nail driven to seal the coffin and send this love down to the grave
start this funeral at dawn and weep for this dying heart's lament

i swear i could've killed you but you're pretty clever for a girl
I'm hoping one day soon you're gonna get what you deserved
you're no different! A bloody gold-digger, a thief and a criminal!
and i fall as the victim of desertion at its purest form

now i know how cheap you are!
you're no special to me now!
i may have been blinded in the past!
brought by this selfish kind of love!
now I'm selfish as selfish comes!
i don't care if someone gets hurt!
i aim this gun straight at your head!
a bullet for my valentine!

i carved my heart out with your name, wont you split wide open my chest?
see it beating with every life that you gladly took away
what it is right now is a good for nothing, it's better off dead
may the sun go down upon this wrath that i truly feel!

may the life you chose to live end up in such a cruel shame!
may you be burden with regrets and frustrations in every step of the way
as i sharpen my focus and aim in every bottle that i spin
living with the sole purpose of giving you entirely nothing but despair!

coz now i know how bad you are!
hate is boiling deep down inside!
i want to gouged your fucking eyes!
you should've known right from the start!
id love you once but you fooled me twice!
shot a gaping hole thru my heart!

broken bound by my mademoiselle,
no cure for wounds that wouldn't heal,
dead inside i quietly pray,
wont you god please take her away!



Ms.BlackEyeLiner

with your lipstick smeared and make up stains
going through yet another mess again
broken nails that scratched pale dirty skin
yours is a silhouette vastly growing thin

blackened eyes suits well with glassy stares
whiskey breathe poisons dead damp air
cigarette on one hand and purse on the other
you are to me an impending disaster

and i don't know if im still supposed to care
im out here minding my own private hell
you play the role of empty walking dead girl all too well
numbing the pain with those rainbow colored pill

and you're making a mess like it's nobody's business
smeared in drunkenness, caught under the influence
swaying thru the notion that numbs the senses
as hands are all over your tiny piece of dress
that could hardly make up for a cover of your worn-out flesh

as your crumpled hair gets mangled dry
i guess anyone will do tonight
you were so easy for stupid pick up lines
falling for the cliche for the nth of time
and as you loose your self respect
you gain nothing for yourself
pity and shame is what you earned instead
decency is at loss for you never tried to care
time is not a friend my girl, i hope you're well aware
i hope you're well aware...

Sick or Sane

An ample amount of medication for a sickness unknown
concoction of pills taken which varies, each with different results.
White ones, won't let you sleep
The blue ones, leaves drowsiness
and the yellow makes you feel dry
Some have side effects never advertised
Swallow them all to wallow the life.
There will be no more of hearing voices late at night.
No more shadows, no more strangers knockin' on doors,
or peeking at windows... keeping an eye.
They will all soon be gone.
You could smell the blossoming of daisies and daffodils in bloom
and finally touch the rain, once again.
But they're too dull still, just plain lame
and not enough to keep us sane.